In Limbo

I went in for my first ultrasound last Wednesday (7/13).  Everything looked good on the screen.  The doc saw one gestational sac and yolk sac, both measuring on time.  We left the doctor happy and headed out of town on a mini vacation with my family to San An.tonio.  As soon as we arrived in SA, my RE called me and I knew it was bad news.  The nurse is the one who calls when everything is okay.  He told me he was concerned over my HCG level that day.  It wasn't rising as it should.  My level that day, at 19dp5dt, was only 1773, which is an 88 hour doubling time.  The "normal" hcg doubling time is anywhere from 48-72 hours, with 72 being on the very low end.  

Obviously, I have been a total mess since I heard the news.  My vaca was pretty much ruined and I didn't get much relaxing in.  I went for a 4th beta while I was in SA at a different lab and it came back at 2904 at 21dp5dt, which was a 67 hour doubling time. 

So, now I just wait.  I have been googling like crazy, but I haven't found many success stories with my situation.  I go for my second ultrasound tomorrow to hopefully hear the heartbeat.  I just feel numb right now.  I feel like even if we do hear a heartbeat tomorrow that this pregnancy is still doomed.  My one and only pregnancy ended at 8 weeks after hearing the heartbeat and measuring exactly on time.  It's so hard for me to hold on to any hope right now with these dismal numbers.  My only hope is that more than one embryo tried to implant but didn't survive, also known as Vanishing Twin Syndrome.  I'm on Lovenox and Dexamethasone, which are supposed to help with immune/pregnancy loss issues, but if it's a chromosomal abnormality, there is nothing that can be done.  I also wonder if I should have gotten my second round of intralipids.  Dr. Mo did mention doing karyotyping on Fields and me.  I've also never had any kind of recurrent pregnancy loss testing or immune testing done, which I will definitely do if this doesn't work out.